Change Yourself and Change Your Marriage

I am a firm believer that you cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. Often, couples come to counselors for counseling because they are upset with their spouses’ actions. Usually one of the two appear to be miserable and spend a considerable amount of time nagging, complaining, and criticizing the other. This is a waste of time, couples have to realize that they do not have the right to force someone else to change. Who is to say whether or not someone needs to change? If someone does need to change wouldn’t the change be more effective if the individual came to this realization on their own? Individual change cannot occur because someone demands for it to happen or because they are shamed into change. For change to occur and to be meaningful it needs to happen because the individual sees a need, and desires to make it happen.

The best approach is to change yourself which will change your marriage. When you change the manner in which you respond to others, they will in return change the way they behave.

Being Authentic

One thing I know for sure is that God created us in a perfect form, and that it is our job to love and accept ourselves. When we do not love ourselves we create an injustice toward God, who created us in his perfect form. It is our duty to love ourselves, treat ourselves well, and honor and respect our bodies. One of the ways in which we dishonor ourselves is by trying to be something we are not. For instance when we attempt to change our sex or overall physical appearance. Imagine the God above looking down on his children and seeing so many miserable individuals. Individuals who have been hurt, and individuals who do not believe in themselves.

No one has the right to mistreat you, but unfortunately it happens. Your job is to deflect their hatred and abuse. Your job is to persevere and become the wonderful individual that God created  you to be. There  is  nothing wrong with you, you are wonderful just the way you are. You are smart enough, pretty enough, kind enough, and talented enough. Don’t allow others to trick you into thinking that you are not an awesome individual. Be true to yourself, don’t try to fit the molds that others have created. The only person you need to please is yourself and God, if you are pleasing God then you are on  the right track.