When we are behaving badly, what is the motivation? Why do we allow ourselves to be pulled into more sin and dysfunction with the encouragement of others? How often have you listened to or participated in conversations such as women encouraging other women to engage in negative sexual acts, or men encouraging other men to abuse women? Who do you take your counsel from? What qualifies that person to counsel you? When others encourage certain behaviors in you, do you ever take the time to question their motivation? I have experienced and observed people who encourage others to do wrong, and their motivation is usually for selfish gain, wanting to disrupt or gain something in the progress.
How do you determine who is worthy of giving you counsel? Well, for starters the person who counsels you whether friend or family should be someone who has values that are aligned with yours, and your values should be aligned with God’s. Often we allow others to give us advice when they are simply not qualified to do so; and or have the wrong motivation. We cannot afford to arbitrarily allow others into our lives and advise us when they are not qualified to do so, because this could lead to more negative behaviors.
Negative Behaviors that are often encouraged:
- Promiscuous sexual behaviors
- Disrupting marital vows
- Stealing from work or unknown people
- Gossiping about others
- Retaliating against others
- Lying for personal gain or to avoid responsibility
- Belittling others for a so-called justified reason or cause
- Betraying the confidence of others because of a lack in loyalty
- Encouragement to physically harm others
- Encouragement to evade responsibility such as parenting, paying childhood support, and admitting to or serving a sentence for illegal behaviors
- Encouragement to use drugs or alcohol
Others may benefit from your negative behaviors in the following ways:
- Dismantling a relationship that you treasure
- Causing you pain misery
- Positioning themselves to have a relationship with you that would otherwise be prohibited
- Receiving support in engaging in their sinful behaviors. Ex. encouraging you to commit adultery, lie, cheat, or steal (they may feel less guilty if they have company in committing their negative acts
- When others are afraid of trying and progressing they will encourage you not to try as well, they cannot stomach the idea of you being successful They are more comfortable with you remaining on their level
You may be easily influenced and coerced into sinful behaviors if:
- You are more interested in pleasing people and not in pleasing God.
- You are not secure within yourself, and believe whatever others tell you.
- You are too lazy to read and study the bible to find out God’s plan for your life.
- You live in fear because you are afraid to confront your fears.
- You are easily manipulated