Life is short, so ideally we should spend our time being productive and loving life as well as each other. Well for some life is long, painful, and traumatic because of relationship choices. At what point do we stop participating in relationship insanity? You may wonder what exactly is relationship insanity?? Well relationship insanity is the act or process of engaging in constant mistreatment, but saying that you want something different and something better, but doing nothing proactively that could bring about change. For instance, staying with a chronic cheater, continuing to have children without a commitment, having unprotected sex and complaining about contracting STIs (sexually transmitted infections) etc. All of these acts require full participation from you, people can only do what you allow them to do. What sense does it make to cry and complain about mistreatment when we have free will to change our circumstances and our relationships.
Why do people participate in this type of insanity? Well I suspect that some of the foundational reasons may be low feelings of self-worth, high levels of neediness, fear of abandonment, and poor relationship outlook. All of this leads to a willingness to accept mediocre relationships that are hurtful, dangerous, and pointless. Perhaps some people feel it is better to be with a loser than to sleep alone. But at what cost are you willing to compromise your self for the sake of “so-called love” I am always amazed at what people consider love.
The bible says “Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5 AMP)
So how do we break the patterns of insane relationships? Here are some tips:
- Conduct a reality check and break the cycle of denial, if everyone around you can see the insanity, you might want to examine the relationship.
- Be sure that you have a definition of love, if love is not present in your relationship then let it go.
- Care more about your mental and emotional health and well-being; more than the relationship.