Three-some? You, Me, and Social Media

Many of you are experiencing a third party in your relationship. Every time you ignore your mate to check your social media feed or to update your status, you might be guilty of allowing others into your relationship.

Here are the top 10 ways social media may be destructive to your relationship:

  1. Spending more time on social media than you do communicating with your mate.
  2. Changing your relationship status after a fight with your mate.
  3. Connecting with ex boyfriends or girlfriends.
  4. Complaining about others social media post.
  5. Accepting friend requests from people you don’t know.
  6. Sharing relationship problems on social media.
  7. Arguing on social media.
  8. Sharing private relationship information.
  9. Overtly flirting with others.
  10. Posting inappropriate pictures.

Learn how to protect your relationship, attend the webinar Couples and Social Media


Couples Unplug From Social Media and Engage

With the expansion of technology it often becomes difficult to balance work, intimate, and social relationships. Often couples argue about how much time one or the other spends on social media or other phone distractions. Well, how does one know if they are spending too much time on social media sites? If you answer yes to five or more of the questions below then you might have a problem with social media, and you might need to unplug and engage in direct communication and quality time with your partner or spouse.

  1. Does your spouse or partner complain that you spend too much time on your phone or on social media sites?
  2. Does your spouse or partner become angry when you are on social media?
  3. Do you check your social media during dates or other outings?
  4. Do you check your social media as the first task in the morning? Before talking to your spouse or partner?
  5. Do other friends or family members complain about your social media use?
  6. Do you check your social media at work or school?
  7. Do you post your every thought or move on social media?
  8. Do you spend more hours on social media than you do talking to your spouse or partner?
  9. Do you check your social media in secret such as stepping away from others to avoid them knowing (checking while in the bathroom)?
  10. Do you check your social media in the car instead of talking to your spouse or partner?

If you answered YES to five or more of the questions above then you might need assistance.  To receive my free social media and relationship report complete the form below.

Why PreMarital Counseling?

I believe that couples should spend as much time designing/planning their marriage as they do planning their wedding. When it comes to marriage many couples are resistant to the idea of premarital counseling. Here are a few benefits of premarital counseling. 

  1. Premarital counseling provides an opportunity to improve communication
  2. Premarital counseling allows the couple time to explore specific marriage wishes and deal breakers
  3. Premarital counseling will help couples understand marital expectations
  4. Premarital counseling provides couples with the tools to create boundaries with those outside of the relationship
  5. Premarital counseling provides insight into personality and behavior traits that may not have been identified prior
  6. Premarital counseling will help couples understand, accept, and explore differences in their personalities
  7. Premarital counseling identifies growth areas for the couple
  8. Premarital counseling can help a couple determine if they are good candidates for marriage with each other 
  9. Premarital counseling will help couples understand the family they are marrying into
  10. Premarital counseling will help couples identify why they want to marry 

If you are engaged and your partner does not want to participate in premarital counseling, then you might want to reconsider getting married. If you think that you cannot afford premarital counseling then you might want to delay your wedding, because counseling is far more important than guest lists and dresses. 

Boys Will Be Boys . . . Unless We Teach Them Something Better

Food for thought

John Sommers-Flanagan

What follows is a reprint from the ACA blog I wrote a couple weeks ago just in case you didn’t catch that. Have an excellent weekend.

Some of you may already be aware of Rosalind Wiseman’s work. She initially became recognized as a national parenting authority with the publication of her popular book, “Queen Bees and Wannabees” (2003).  This book inspired the movie “Mean Girls.” Despite her lack of academic credentials (a B.A. in Political Science from Occidental College), she has done some good work around the topic of girl bullying.

In her latest book, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World she ventures into new and exciting territory. But from the perspective of a grown up boy, I think, despite her best intentions, she doesn’t really get the boy world. This is probably because she never…

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